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"you are a theif, a liar, a whore.."

that's rich..

Yeah, so I messaged Brian.. thinking I could get somewhere as to why he doesn't want to talk to me and that is what I got. I am a theif because I stole his computer and his car and his best friend's love apparently. I can honestly say that I did not steal his car. I remember that one day Jimmy was laughing saying that he was going to tow Brian's car to the impound and have it crushed for some whiskey money.. and then the next day I woke up and it was gone and Jimmy was sitting on 3 bottles of KD. My bad? His computer is what is now Melissa and Elizabeth's computer.. but if you remember correctly.. he fried the one we were going to give them, AFTER my mom had paid us for it.. which by the way isn't working right now and for that matter.. it was Rob's idea to take it. I do have the monitor over at my brother's house I think.. If he is so hurt by the fact that I have it.. then he can have it back. I don't have a use for it anymore anyways. and the best friend's love thing? I have no idea what he meant by that.. I don't know if he is implying that I took his love and threw it away.. or if rob was his best friend but let's recap real quick.

Izaac hated you. Absolutely couldn't stand you.. he even tried to get Rob and I to pay the money that you owed him. I practically had to beg rob to let you move in with us.. that was MY idea. You moved yourself and your girl in and things went shitty real fast. You swear up and down that you did nothing wrong.. but week after week rob would bitch that you were taking all of his money.. using up all the gas in my car.. so on and so forth and for the longest time I defended you.. until I got sick of your girl's shit and then I plotted against you living in the house.. yes. You mad that I lied to you? Fuck.. Yeah.. I am a class act liar.. but that shouldn't really matter because your girl was lying to you and abusing you worse that I ever was. How many different times was she pregnant? Seriously.. did she ever even go to the doctor or was that more lies? Sure, she's awesome now.. she gave you a son and I suppose that things are swell now. But the fact still remained that she lied to the both of us over and over again and about the stupidest shit. Where did my sharpies go? she doesn't have them.. I can't find them. So I snuck into her bag one afternoon while you two were at work and there they were.. and what was her response? "I didn't know they were in there" and the worst part of this.. even though I hated her.. I fucking tried to help you keep her around. I sat there when she was being impossible and tried to get her to calm down and talk to you like a normal human being, instead of her slave. It doesn't matter now.. it's a whatever at this point.(however, let's not forget the used tampons that were all over..)

I am not a whore. Did I cheat on rob? yes. His name was anthony.. he came by the gas station all the time while I was working and I had sex with him.. Is that the only one? Nope. I fooled around with male Corey too. Do I feel bad? oh, hell no! I was tired of the bullshit. I was tired of feeling like a freak.. which I am.. but your significant other is supposed to be at least accepting. I was tired of his friend constantly coming over and treating me like shit. Yeah.. they didn't like me.. I get it, but if you can't behave, then don't come over to my house and eat up my food and act shitty towards me.. Come over and steal rob for a few hours and leave me out of it then. I was tired of being alone in the house.. constantly wanting a feeling of company. Tired of the superior lack of romance and for that matter.. I wanted a child.. I always have and it's not like it's an obsurd request. I didn't require any of my boyfriends to be anything in particular appearance wise, nothing in personality, I chose who I wanted by the simple fact of.. if I got knocked up would they take care of me and love both me and our child. Simple as that and I was tired of the same old routine of being without. Day after day I was unhappy.. with the sex.. the behavior.. spending all our money and overdrafting our account, JUST BARELY making bills.. It was ultimately aggravating.. and let's not forget the fact that he invited his best friend Devan to that concert before I even knew he had been given the tickets.. I wasn't the first person he called.. I sat around all night and babysitted her, as well as buying everyone food.. and sure enough, he called during the concert to tell me about how he had women throwing their tits in his face and how glad that he was that he took Devan and not me. so I began cheating on him. Made me feel better and it was nice to know that someone thought I was sexy. so sue me. Someone whom didn't make fun of my strange antics or preferences in games. I felt better about myself and that is what matters.

Do I feel bad about how things went down and the lying? yes. I don't however want to change it. I met someone new. He knows about how I cheated on rob.. I've told him about every crazy stunt that I did and about how I have a serious problem with lying, making up stories, stealing, betraying trust, and all of my good or bad qualities.. and he doesn't care. For some reason he loves me unconditionally and plans on keeping me forever. He doesn't make fun of me for neopets or WoW.. just says that it is not his style of game and goes on loving me. Maybe it's because I haven't given him hell, abused his love, or betrayed his trust.. but I don't feel that I need to. I feel that I have grown up a lot and it sucks that I hurt so many people in the past.. but life is a learning experience and all those whom suffered it I am sorry, but you made a better person out of it that someone like david can love.. so it wasn't in vain. Now that I have cleared my mind, I feel better and david deserves to sleep soundly with me at his side.. not dwelling in the past, writing nonsensical journals to an ex-friend that doesn't care and won't read it anyways. Sleepy time.. especially since Melanie fell asleep in my arms and she can't really be comfortable.